Security asks for a small, well-kept life. Expansion asks for a larger one, immediately. Squared, the two arrive at the same moment and pull the native in opposite directions, usually with money as the visible medium. The house is bought a little beyond what can be carried. The dinner is more elaborate than the occasion required. The native feels cramped in comfortable circumstances and homesick in adventurous ones, and has generally decided by thirty that this is simply what having a personality feels like.
The habit that does the damage is emotional overreach. A friendship is declared closer than it is. Reassurance is offered to somebody in trouble at a level the native cannot actually underwrite, and the retreat afterwards wounds worse than plain silence would have. Belief in a person is total until it is not. Appetite runs ahead of hunger at the table and ahead of pleasure in spending, and the correction, when it comes, tends to be sudden, moral and rather too severe.
The friction here builds an unusually good judge of proportion, and it takes about twenty years. Having overpromised often enough to remember it, the native develops something a smoother chart never acquires: an accurate sense of what they can actually carry, held alongside undiminished generosity. Such people are excellent with the young, being expansive enough to be believed and burnt enough to be honest. The cost is the string of overcommitments behind them, and the square does not offer to waive it.
What It Gives
- ◆generosity that survives its own lessons
- ◆hard-earned sense of proportion
- ◆encouragement the young actually believe
- ◆willingness to risk for others
What It Costs
- ◆reassurance offered beyond means
- ◆restlessness in comfortable circumstances
- ◆correction that arrives as harshness
This is one line of a whole chart. The rest of it — every placement, house and aspect at once — is a birth date away.
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