It is the partner who is described as obsessive, and the native who is described, by themselves, as merely wanting a quiet life. The evidence rarely supports the description. Such natives select for depth without admitting it, find agreeable and undemanding people unsatisfying, and stay long past the point where staying is explicable. Where the roles reverse, the native becomes the one keeping the accounts, checking the story and setting the conditions, and is astonished to be told that this is what it feels like from the other chair.
Shared money is the arena. Joint accounts, a partner's debts, an inheritance that divides a family, a divorce settlement conducted with more thoroughness than the marriage ever received. Property is the vocabulary of the argument: who paid, whose name is on it, what happens to it if this ends. Relationships under this opposition tend to conclude with a formal division of things, and the things carry a weight out of all proportion to their value. The native usually surrenders more than a lawyer would advise, or considerably less.
The resolution asks the native to hold both the wish for possession and the fact of another person's separateness, which is uncomfortable and cannot be delegated. Those who do it are unusually good at partnership after fifty, having already lost enough to know what they will not do again. Those who do not remarry the same conditions in a new house. This opposition destroys and rebuilds through other people, and the rebuilding is genuine, though it is never gentle and it is never quick.
What It Gives
- ◆endures what others walk away from
- ◆clear-eyed about a partner's motives
- ◆rebuilds a life after formal division
- ◆attracts serious and capable company
What It Costs
- ◆own intensity credited to the partner
- ◆long struggles over shared property
- ◆power in love mistaken for fate
This is one line of a whole chart. The rest of it — every placement, house and aspect at once — is a birth date away.
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