The disruption arrives from outside, reliably and to the native's continual surprise. They take the position of the one who wanted to stay, who kept the home, who was left. Partners turn out to be unavailable in ways that were visible from the beginning to everyone else. A parent was erratic, or went. The native describes themselves as steady and describes their history as a series of things that happened to them, and the consistency of the series is the first clue that something is being arranged.
Look for the small provocations, since they are never absent. Freedom is granted to others so extravagantly that it functions as a dismissal. Ultimatums are issued in the language of reasonableness. The native selects, repeatedly, the person visibly halfway out of the door, and is bewildered when the door is used. There is also a private restlessness that is never acted on and is instead detected in everybody else, sometimes accurately, which makes the accusations difficult to answer and impossible to settle.
Both ends have to be held, and the way in is generally an unwelcome discovery: the native finds their own wish to bolt, usually in a relationship that was going well. Owned, the contact produces someone who can be close without being anxious and separate without being cruel, and who is very good indeed with people who cannot settle. Unowned, it produces a long sequence of unreliable others and a person who has never once suspected they cast the part.
What It Gives
- ◆tolerance of very independent people
- ◆acute reading of imminent departures
- ◆loyalty maintained through disruption
- ◆closeness without possessiveness once learned
What It Costs
- ◆unavailable partners repeatedly chosen
- ◆restlessness detected only in others
- ◆freedom offered as a dismissal
This is one line of a whole chart. The rest of it — every placement, house and aspect at once — is a birth date away.
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